Home
Agape - It has taken its toll. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
puferflou

[ website | My Website ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

It has taken its toll. [Jun. 20th, 2007|12:01 am]
Previous Entry Add to Memories Tell a Friend Next Entry
[Current Location |home]
[mood | discontent]
[music |tsuki]

Rec has been adding pressure to the already pressured first week of class. I'm not exactly complaining and regretting that it's tough.  Well it supposed to be that way, but then I again putting myself in self doubt.

I've been a very bad (well not really) student, by not exactly doing assignments and sleeping in class. (Yes literally sleep) and I feel bad, because I'm surrounded by what? A whole class of very very well off students. (Not like me, who I think is still very dependent and lazy). And it makes me feel like wearing a clown hat. and  then sit in the idiot corner. 

GUILT. Is running like it has never ran before.

I'm very lucky to be in REC, I love it actually . ( I'm working on the whole Love God issue). But then the big box of guilt is there.
What if someone else wanted it more than I do now? Loving Rec more than me? Loving it for its benefits? ( Not that I don't.)
What if I'm not really one of those smart people to be put there, but just one of those balance it out with idiots student?
I can't work this way. :(



linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: kayethegreat
2007-06-20 02:54 pm (UTC)

.

(Link)

I'm sorry you feel that way. :(
But you know, REC isn't about getting on the top 10 or even getting a high card grade. People there are there because they want to serve God, to follow through god's calling and to accomplish their God-given mission.

No, your not an idiot.